A sleeping cat in front of a bisexual flag.

3/x

@rawstrawberry With your incredibly good-looking body and stunning charisma, it should be no problem for you to find someone who can fulfill this dream. Your openness is also more than inviting.

Maybe this is finally the end of this really long thread, and I decided to send it to my dad. Honestly, it might just be my autism making me hyper-focused on her replies, maybe I’m overanalyzing everything again, but I’m queer and I just can’t process it all anymore.

I really appreciate all the lovely replies I’ve gotten here. You have no idea how much it means to me when people actually get where I’m coming from as a queer person. Seriously, it makes me smile to feel understood like that.

That kind of support means even more when there are people at work, like one who’s outright anti-pride, who just don’t get it at all. It reminds me that I’m not alone, and I’m grateful for everyone who reaches out.

Like I said, sorry, Mom, I don’t have pictures of me looking sad being queer and gender-fluid. All I have are depressing photos from when I tried to look “normal."

To all the Mastodon readers, I’ve lived with divorced parents since I was a kid.

When it comes to my friends, like Martin, Haakon, and some coworkers, it’s kind of more of the same. Most of them honestly don’t care about queer stuff or are even outright anti-pride, like Thomas from work. Most just want to sit in front of a PC or at the movie theater, which barely interests me anymore. What actually makes me happy is being with other queer people, talking about queer topics, just being my authentic self, and of course, #TransRightsAreHumanRights. Adrian’s probably the only one at work who actually gets it, mainly because his girlfriend is trans, and honestly, I’m trans too (some days, other days, not so much; that’s gender-fluidity for you).

It gets to me when I spend most of my day talking with my new queer friends, and then my mom nags me for not hanging out with my so-called “friends” from work. Like, what am I supposed to do? It feels like she doesn’t want me to meet new people or grow. Sometimes it makes me so depressed, like I’m being pushed back into a friend group that I just don’t fit in with anymore.

I’ve grown out of those childhood hobbies like video-games and found joy somewhere else. Maybe it’s my autism over-calculating, overreacting, but it honestly feels like I’m being forced into friendships that don’t fit who I am now, and here I am, happy at the gay bar where I actually belong, and someone still can’t just be happy for me.

What I’m really trying to say is, I might not fit into what’s considered “cis-het standards”, but why should my mom care? I’m fucking queer, I’ve kissed a guy, and honestly, that’s who I am. But right now, I just feel lost, like I can’t be with the people who actually make me happy, and I’m stuck hanging around people who only leave me feeling unhappy.

Sorry, Mom, I don’t have pictures of me looking sad being queer and gender-fluid. All I have are depressing photos from when I tried to look “normal.